Dear People pleasers,
I see your pain, I see your discomfort, I see the guilt you hold when you don't fulfil someone else’s need and I'm here to tell you that it’s something that can change. It might be a long process but this video can help you start.
As a mental health professional and a recovering people pleaser, I’m here to share a few things that helped me:
1. Do not respond immediately. Take time to understand what is being asked of you and take time to process the questions. A simple "let me get back" to you goes a long way.
2. Tell yourself you have a choice - even if you don’t act on it. You can choose to say no if you wanted. Be aware of that choice.
3. Set your boundaries and priorities: such as a time limit even before you agree. Understand what you need to do and what you'd be sacrificing.
4. Start saying no in safe spaces and for small things first.
5. Count and slowly reduce the number of times you apologise because we people pleasers go a bit over board on the "Sorries".
6. Tell yourself you can’t be there for everyone and that is okay until you believe it.
If you feel like you need help to overcome this, seek therapy. You can apply here.
A video explaining the same can be found here.
- Aksheyaa Akilan