Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married

A marriage is built on conversations as much as on love. Yet many couples reach the wedding having talked endlessly about the function and the guest list, and barely at all about the life waiting on the other side of it. The good news is that the conversations that matter are not complicated. They just need to be had, honestly, before you begin.

Here are the kinds of questions worth sitting with, grouped by theme.

Money, and how you each handle it

How were you each raised to think about spending and saving? What do you want money to give you, security, freedom, generosity? How will you handle it together as a couple?

Family and in-laws

How close are you to your parents, and what do you expect that to look like after marriage? Where will you live, and how will decisions get made?

Children

Do you both want them, and roughly when? How do you each imagine sharing the raising of them?

Values and daily life

Faith, festivals, food, routines. The small texture of a shared life is worth naming out loud.

Conflict and repair

How does each of you handle disagreement? What did that look like in the home you grew up in?

Closeness

What makes each of you feel loved, and what do you need to feel close?

The future you picture

Where do you each see yourselves in five years, and do those pictures have room to meet?

None of these need perfect answers. What matters is that you have the conversation, openly, before the marriage rather than inside it.

That is exactly what we built Before We Begin for. It takes every one of these themes and turns them into a guided workbook you move through together, at your own pace, so nothing important gets skipped. Get your digital copy of Before We Begin here.